[page] 308

A VENERABLE ORANG-OUTANG.

(See Cartoon.)

I HAVE to apologize once more for the wild flights of my incorrigible artist. I told him most clearly and positively to draw me a life-like portrait of that profound philosopher, Mr. Darwin, and threatened him with instant dismissal if he dared to meddle for comic effect with the sober lineaments of the original thinker. I did more. I gave him sixpence to study the monkey tribe on a Monday at the Zoological Gardens, with an additional penny for a bun for the elephant, and I made him take a solemn vow that he would read Mr. Darwin's new work right through, so that he might draw inspiration before he drew the portrait. Need I say he has deceived me; grossly, vilely deceived his faithful and generous patron. I believed he misused the sixpence I gave him, or the penny, and made a beast of himself. I don't believe he read a word of the work, and I emphatically deny his unblushing assertion that I told him Mr. Darwin was a tailless monkey, an orang-outang, and that he would find him in Regent's Park. On the contrary, I took the greatest pains to enlighten him on the Darwinian theory. I demonstrated the possibility of our progenitors having played "possum up a gum-tree," and cracked cocoa-nuts, leaving their great descendants to account for the milk. I even entered into an hypothetical dissertation on man's loss of his tail─presuming that he lent it out in weekly numbers and never got it returned, or had the copyright stolen by the early Americans. I said everything and did everything I could to impress upon him the dignity of the subject, but­─as the disgraceful carton he has produced so unhappily proves─in vain. The scamp has got confused; jumbled memories of the philosopher's face with monkey's till he didn't know t'other from which, and now has the effrontery to say I told him to! More, he wants to prove, as a student of physiognomy, that man has good grounds for believing himself a descendant of the ape tribe; and, with unseemly levity, offers to bet me a farthing cake─with a reservation s to the first bite─that he once saw Mr. Darwin on an organ. I scorn the mean shuffle, and ask my readers again to forgive a disappointment of which I am so guiltless; promising by the sacred memory of the tails and pouches of my venerated ancestors to give them a portrait of Mr. Darwin as soon as I can bring my rebellious son of a twopenny crayon to his senses.

[page] 309

[Caricature of Darwin]

A VENERABLE ORANG-OUTANG.

A CONTRIBUTION TO UNNATURAL HISTORY